The 7 Keys To Loving With Passion
FRIENDSHIP - Nothing else in your relationship is more vital for sustaining its trust, depth and endurance. Nurture it constantly so that both of you feel confident and secure in each other's heart and mind. Share kisses and embraces mornings and nights, at times hold hands or walk arm-and-arm when out on prearranged or surprise "dates". Make mutual affection a habit that shows. Learn fully about each other's family upbringing and outlook on life.
COMMUNICATION - Meet at least once a week for an hour or more to discuss your deepest feelings and matters of mutual concern (needs, finances, family, work, etc.) Most important, practice listening intently to one another with minimal interruptions. Aim for clarity and understanding.
RESPECT - Settle your differences through negotiation and compromise as equals in the relationship who may disagree at times, but value each other's opinions and attitudes. Try identifying with your partner's points-of-view and use that empathy to resolve disputes. Make no harsh judgements of who is "right" or "wrong".
VARIETY - Climb out of ruts and adventure together with hot air ballooning, walks over new terrain, interesting seminars, wine tasting, etc. Go for a spontaneous ride in your car and discover new places. Learn massage techniques and discover new ways to touch each other.
PRAISE - Keep an ear and eye tuned to what you genuinely appreciate about your lover - whether it's physical, emotional or intellectual. Once, twice or more often every day, express your admiration in words and gestures. Never talk mechanically, but with heartfelt sentiment and warmth.
THOUGHTFULNESS - Plan surprises that say your partner truly matters. Take on chores that are normally your mate's. Leave loving messages on greeting cards under pillows, in cabinets or the fridge, etc. Give flowers and/or balloons when your partner has had a particularly hard day.
PLAY - Romp in childlike, hilarious games for two: a gentle pillow fight, tickling within bounds, playing doctor short of malpractice. Drop all restraints while you take turns reading aloud and acting out sensuous stories. Imagine yourselves as fictitious characters and be a Rhett Butler to her Scarlet O'Hara. Maybe act out being a ravishing spy seducing a gullible American scientist. People having fun together stay together.
Donald Etkes, Ph.D., MFCC is available for individual and couple
counseling, public speaking and phone consultation.
   Contact him at: Voice: (310) 979-0245
Copyright © 1999 - Donald Etkes
All Rights Reserved
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